Yeah, um, you know that show that no one likes, but everybody watches? No, no. Not that one, the other one. Well, someone decided that it would be a great idea if they took that concept and turned it into something slightly less degrading but all the more depraved. That’s right, your favorite show, Jersey Shore, is being turned into a porn flick.

In what I call a stroke of ‘genius’, “Writers”/directors Spock Buckton and Brian Bangs of Zero Tolerance Entertainment are shooting the film. Although, both fail to realize that all they actually needed to do was un-blur the shots and take night footage from the show on any given day. Wonder who’ll play/lay Snooki?

(Source: Gawker)

At a completely unnecessary press conference where 2 people plus all of Fox News showed up, Rush Limbaugh announced that he is in perfect health. Thousands of hopefuls crossing their fingers for the news of Rush Limbaugh’s possible impending doom were thoroughly let down. As Limbaugh went to the podium, he took the opportunity to praise America’s health care system. Saying that he was treated wit the utmost care and got in and out very quickly with sufficient service to boot. He failed to point out that health care actually favors the wealthy in this country. And, for a man that tips up to $5000 when he eats at a restaurant, it’s a wonder that you didn’t come out of that hospital as Superman.

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d4kmtuptzuE

If you don’t already know, a lot of prison trends used to either protect against or accentuate the possibility of anal sex in prison (e.g. sagging pants). Now,  in what most describe as excruciatingly painful yet more enjoyable than rape, inmates at some prisons are getting their eyes tattooed. That’s right. Their eyes tattooed. Remember when it was cool to where weird contacts (if you don’t, you may have actually been cool), or when rappers wore contacts in videos (M-E-T-H-O-D MAN)? Well, I’m pretty sure this was a long time coming, but it simply took this long to find someone stupid enough to do it.

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mj4ANqp68DI

[Source: hiphopwired.com]

Here’s a short from the original animal collective (well, half of them are). Why did it take over 20 years to do this?!

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tgbNymZ7vqY

So what’s next? Maybe some Bowie? The Smiths?

Between Axe, Old Spice, and TAG we’d likely had more than enough competition in the douchebag/body spray market. However, all of those sprays were full of sin and made for women to lust over men. Now, for the Catholic douchebag comes Spray On Jesus.

Link here

This is far too much comedy on its own to even make fun of:

“China, the world’s fourth largest condom market is having a serious issue with counterfeit condoms being sold in the country.

The police have made four arrests at the factory which was distributing the illicit condoms.  The biggest concern, of course, is the fact that the condoms can generate both pregnancy and diseases if used during intercourse. Authorities say there were bare-chested employees using vegetable oil to lubricate the condoms and putting them into fiber bags without any sterilization inside the central Hunan province based factory.

Since March, the factory has produced over two million condoms labeled as “Jisson, Durex. Rough Rider, Six Sense and Love Card.” The police are looking for as many as one million bootleg condoms which have already been distributed.”

Source: Bossip

“One day in the bathroom, I felt something kind of strange when I was wiping,” she writes. “There wasn’t really a hole there — it felt kind of flat. I thought it was a little weird, but I had a 19-month-old and a newborn to care for, so I brushed it off. I wasn’t bleeding, I wasn’t in pain, so I didn’t address it… “One night, I took a look down there, and it was like my insides were on the outside and they were coming out,” she writes. “I knew I couldn’t put this off any longer. I went to my doctor and said, ‘My vagina is falling out of my body!’

“I was referred to a pelvic floor specialist. She took a look and said, ‘Holy crap — your vagina is falling out of your body, and it’s dragging your bladder and your rectum along with it!’”

These quotes made our day slightly more hilarious. If you’d like more hilarity, please type in vaginal prolapse in google.

Full story from The Sphere…

It’s sad but this isn’t the first time a ninja has gotten national news coverage for… well- being bad at being a ninja. A Seattle man was put into intensive care this passed Tuesday after failing an attempt at jumping a 5 foot tall fence and impaling himself on its ridges. Police say the man was “overconfident” and that alcohol was likely involved. When will these ninjas ever learn? Here are some other ninja stories that have appeared in the past year or so.

Ninja 1: The Gun Totin’ Ninja

Ninja 2: The Accidental Ninja

Ninja 3: The (Technically Samurai) Killer Ninja