Dear ” Elitist Journalist”,

I’ll get straight to the point.  Your article was as bad as blisters on my taint.  Honestly, who the hell really cares that you have problems dealing with black women.  Interracial dating was the issue to talk about in the early nineties (Jungle Fever anybody?), and even then I just didn’t give damn. You saying that ‘white women are the kryptonite to my superman’ is making the basic assumption that all black men want a taste of that forbidden fruit.  Are you from fucking whistling Dixie or something? Because you so obviously see the need to flaunt your love and lust for the fairer foxes.  Honestly dude, the world (ie myself and anybody else who read this bullshit) is over that whole interracial thing and you my friend should be too. I think a certain level of personal responsibility should be taken on your part for your failed romantic endeavors with “African Queens”.
You may not know black chicks that want to sit next to you on the train to hipster-fuckdom poserville. (Wes Anderson = overrated, “The Royal Tennenbaums”: Gweneth Paltrow, really?) But, you should really know that not all black women are into seeing “Madea’s family reunion”,”Soul Plane”, and the rest of the like/the Tyler Perry nigga movie collection. And yes, not all black women solely listen to T.I.,Lil’ Wayne, Chris Brown and the rest of the shitty rap and r&b music that saturates our race. I can assure you that there are attractive, social,and intelligent black women with excellent taste in books, films, and music. So it seems to me writer, that the scars you bare from the sistas’ you were with, is DEFINITELY because they “just weren’t that into you”.(You probably saw that movie, and were the only black person in the theater. I mean, the whose who of bony white ass, all in the same movie!? Who couldn’t  resist? —You.)
In closing, your article was whack, your magazine IS whack and your comparisons of interracial dating to ice cream flavors and star bursts candy, is FUCKING WHACK. I’m probably wasting my breath, seeing as though you probably don’t expect black people to read this aforementioned bullshit anyway,and that sort of makes the name of this publication all the more pretentious, though you claim to be nothing of the sort.

Dictated, not read.
-The Management

P.S.
Your article was as enjoyable as a root canal or a visit to the free clinic. Stay Black! and seeya in line when Vicky,Christina, Barcelona comes out on DVD.

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