X-Men Origins: Wolverine
May 1
I would never would try and watch an illegally posted workprint of this film over a month before it came out. But if I did happen to find a copy online (and watch the whole thing on my laptop while in turn sticking it to Fox for trying to shut down Watchmen) I would tell you that this film is very bad. I’ve seen so many awesome Marvel characters destroyed when they translate from panel to screen. Galactus, Venom, Dr. Doom, Cyclops, Daredevil, Ghost Rider are just some of the characters that were not given their cinematic due. Well, have no fear. This flick offers a handful more: Deadpool, Gambit, Agent Zero and Blob, and (to some extent and just in this particular movie) Wolverine. Halfway through my screening (if I did happen to see it) I thought to myself, “no wonder I wasn’t excited to see this”.

Star Trek
May 8
J.J. Abrams has made some of the most entertaining pieces of TV shows and movies in the past decade. He gave us Alias and a little television show you might have heard of called Lost. He then made his directorial debut with the highly underrated Mission: Impossible III and then he produced the viral cinematic monster known as Cloverfield. So what’s next for Mr. Abrams? Why not reboot the nerdiest franchise in human history, ignore most of its roots, give it a pair of balls and pump it full of adrenaline? I’m down. The casting looks perfect from Chris Pine as Kirk and Zachary Quinto as Spock to Simon Pegg as Scotty and John Cho as Sulu. I never saw a single second of Star Trek before but I know this will be so freakin’ cool. From the trailers and TV spots I’ve seen, I’m just gonna guess and say this will be my favorite movie of the 2009 summer season and I don’t care who knows it. Sorry Mr. Bay.

Angels & Demons
May 15
Having read both Angels & Demons and The Da Vinci Code (and yes, they go in that order) I can easily say that they are the same book. Just give it a couple seconds of thought and you know that I’m right. Some old guy dies, and then his daughter works with Langdon to solve a mystery hidden in history. That’s the same plot of both the movies. Now Angels & Demons, which is actually a prequel, comes out 3 years later after its brother film, and I couldn’t care less. I thought The Da Vinci Code book was okay but it wasn’t the great thing everyone said it was. The movie adaptation of Da Vinci put me to sleep and I have a feeling Angels will too. But considering I liked Angels & Demons the book better, and this film offers action and Ewan McGregor, I might have to go see what’s up with it.

Terminator Salvation
May 21
When I first heard they were making a T4 and it was to be directed by the Charlie’s Angels director McG, I almost considered playing in traffic. But three trailers and a Christian Bale roid rage later, I jumped on the bandwagon. There seems to be so much action in this bad boy. Here are  few of the things that will put my ass in the seat: Motorcycle Terminators. Transformer rip-offs. Bryce Dallas Howard’s face. The list doesn’t need to get more detailed than that. But, this film certainly grew on me. I’m really eager to see where it goes in terms of story considering they do need to send an Arnie back to stop shit. I know McG was fighting for his R rating but he lost. This Terminator outting will be rated Pg-13. Apparently he wants blood to be shown and there seems to be a topless scene in the rain with Moon Bloodgood that we now won’t see. Let’s just put it this way: if McG pulls this off, I will take back all the profanity I spilled when I heard he was directing.

Up
May 29
When I saw the trailer that Pixar was making a movie about a cooking rat, I slapped my forehead. When I saw the trailer that Pixar was making a movie about a trash compacting robot, I slapped my forehead once again. I seem to doubt Pixar from their concepts. Once I saw Ratatouille and WALL*E, I immediately took back my words and came to simple conclusion that Pixar is the future of animation. I don’t care anymore about kung fu pandas, lost zoo animals or dancing penguins. My children will be watching cartoons about retired superheroes, memory impaired fish, and a huge monster company. So when I heard that Pixar’s latest was about a house suspended by balloons, an old man, a boy scout, a talking dog and a mysterious adventure around the world, I just held my tongue. For I know this will be great. And the fact that it’s going to be in 3D makes it even better. I want to be sitting there in the theater and see all the excitement hitting me in the face. I’m not to sure what that’s gonna be right now, but I know it’s gonna be awesome.

Drag Me To Hell
May 29
Finally Raimi returns to his roots of horror and delivers a movie… that I won’t see. I’m gonna be completely honest, I could not care at all about this movie. With the time he spent filming this, he should have been working on Spider-Man 4 and apologizing for the childhood wrecking mess known as Spider-Man 3. The trailer promises me ‘true horror’ or something like that. Mr. Raimi, you already delivered true horror… when I heard Venom talk with Topher Grace’s voice and when the butler tells Harry about his father’s death at the worst possible time ever. Seriously, from the trailer, this movie looks like it offers absolutely nothing new. The trailer implies that some old lady starts haunting some young lady after she’s denied a loan? What?? Unless this comes out and I hear amazing things about it, I won’t be seeing Raimi’s side project. Get to work on Spider-Man 4 Sam.

Stay tuned for my second installment of the 2009 Summer Movie Preview where I discuss robots in disguise and the rest of the month of June.